Spirit of Fear

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Here’s a little bonus rant for the week.

I am NOT a child. Nor am I a moron. I may do some foolish things every now and again and I may say some nonsensical things from time to time but still…I have my wits.

My coworkers are trying to incite fear into me as a prepare to travel abroad this year. Yes, I understand that they are worried, and yes, I get that they care. But it is not prudent or “caring” to tell someone that they should like about getting abducted. I mean, seriously?! That’s what the fuck you want to tell me? That’s what’s on your mind? I’m sorry for you.

I feel badly for my coworkers that they feel so restricted in themselves that the thought of travelling alone automatically circulates feelings of fear and apprehension. I tried many times to explain to them that I am not worried for my safety nor am I worried about other people. I’m not going to go wondering down dark alleys at night, I’m not going to give out my residence information, or even run off with strangers. Instead, I let them know that I 1. am planning to learn basic Thai phrases and will research the culture and customs along with tourist friendly places. 2. I plan to adhere to ALL cultural norms and be respectful of them. 3. I plan to NOT be an AMERICAN.

By not being an American, what I mean is that I will not be the typical American tourists who is flashy and showy with their technology and stubborn in their ways. This trip is about creating new experiences and I want to be able to do so with an open mind.

I actually believe that their fear is not for my safety, it actually has nothing to do with me at all. I actually don’t even believe they’re afraid for my well-being. I think at the end of the day, they’re envious. Not envious of me, per se, but envious that I have the ability to decide to travel alone, envious of the fact that I’m brave enough to do so, and envious that they cannot incite fear into me. I’m good off that. That ain’t nothing but the devil. My Jesus did not create me to have a spirit of fear, he did not mold me to be concerned about what others may want to do to me, cause me harm. He said lean into him and not on my own understanding and that’s what I shall do. Good try tho, Lucy. You can’t win with that bullshit over here though. #HaveSeveralSeats

Allow this to serve as an introduction to me. My name is Darshea and to try to sum myself up in so many words would be a disservice to you, the reader, and myself. So I’ll simply say I am.

I am many things. I am a lover, a friend, a daughter, a mother (fur babies). I am an enthusiast of music, generally before the 2000’s. I’m #TeamNatural as I have been off the creamy crack for 6 years but I only consider myself a two year-old natural because I flat ironed my hair for more than a year after relaxing. It seems like it took FOREVER for the heat damage to grow out, Then I decided to bleach my hair. So all in all, six year unrelaxed, 2 years totally natural. I am making my way slowly into the art world as well as foreign affairs. I am a public relations intern and soon to be graduate (woo hoo only 2 semesters left) and I work as a legal secretary in a labor and employment firm.

New Orleans is my home and I wouldn’t have it any other way. Though we have a love hate relationship, sometimes I wake up and it’s hard for me to believe I’m still here, still thriving. It’s only by the grace of Jesus, I know, that I haven’t had several mental breakdowns. With that said, even though I love my city, I cannot die here. I repeat, I cannot die in New Orleans. New Orleans right now doesn’t have the size or opportunity for me to be great. At least, that’s how I feel. I’m hoping within 5 years I’ll be making my way West. Now, I love the south and wouldn’t mind spending some time in Atlanta, briefly, or Texas. Ultimately, I’d love to end up in California.

In terms of career choices, I have no idea what I want to do with my life. Which at this stage in my life in problematic. I’m not exactly young, yet I’m still young enough to get a pass from elders stating that “I’ve still got time.” Granted, my boss didn’t even enroll in law school until she was 30. So I guess I have a few years to figure out if I just wasted 5+ years in college to get a BA in public relations or if I’m going to do something with that.

On a more light hearted note, I love to travel. I got my first taste of international travel at the tender age of 15. I traveled to London, Paris, Athens, and Rome on a 21 day tour with an organization called People to People. I’ve always been very interested in how others lived outside of the US. I guess that’s another thing I’d like to study…anthropology.

At the close of this year I plan to spend two weeks in Dubai and Thailand. I was first intrigued by Thailand’s political debauchery and uproar in middle of 2014 which lead to the ousting of their leader. I found the drama inviting and more so the people of Thailand in their protests both for and against the leader. I vowed then that I needed to see this country. So I made a vow to myself and asked that God enter into a covenant with me to help make this possible. Nothing is possible without faith and I have faith that can, will, and do move mountains. As of right now, funds are making themselves available to me. I asked Jesus to provide and now I have to be obedient to his order in order to receive. I’m on my way!!

I’d like to end this post with something that many people would balk at. I’m totally anti-America. I believe that America is the Great Satan. I feel like when people claim that America is the greatest country in the world, I’d like to see this poll they’ve taken that backs up that sentiment. I don’t feel like America is the greatest anything, but Satan. The country allows impart its pseudo-democratic ways on other countries, can never mind its own business yet boasts this greatness. Before America continues its high and mighty greatness speech why doesn’t it first cure the income gap, the numbers of those impoverished, the racism wars, pay equality, hunger and homelessness? Instead of telling Pakistan what they should be doing, why don’t you focus your energy on your own citizens for a change. America is too concerned with its international’s neighbors grass to realize its own is in need of a serious manicure.

That’s my two cents towards the bill.

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#TeamNatural #CurlyGirl #America #TheGreatSatan #Dubai #Thailand #PublicRelations #PRIntern #PR #Travel #NewOrleans #NOLA #TeamSingle #ButWhenIGetAManTho